On Missing and Longing

Question: What causes us to miss someone?

I often wonder why it is that I miss some people and don't miss others. I don't think the question can really be answered, its too complex, and I think it will always remain a mystery to me. However, I'm going to think out loud and give it my best try.

When you miss someone, it is because there is some factor in the relationship that is no longer present. On the surface it is a proximity issue...the person is no longer near you, with you, or in your presence. However, I think that it comes down to more than that, that you miss someone because of some sort of connection you have with them, and because of some sort of validation that they give to you.

I believe that humans need love because they were created by the source of love--God. This being said, humans constantly look for love, or to the return to God who is the source of all love and the only complete fulfillment of our need for love. We, being humans however, cannot typically achieve such a love here on earth (although arguably some Saints have), and so we look for it in other ways. Some people get it from money, others success/achievement, but most from other people. Therefore, when forming a relationship, we are in some ways, forming a relationship based on our desire for union with God. Disunion from God is Hell, and is torture for the Soul. Now, even though each relationship only gives us a tiny fraction of the longing we have for God, it is still enough to torment us when we lose it. Therefore, when we miss someone, we are longing for that smidgen of fulfillment that they provide us.

This can be solved in part of course by praying to God and forming a more intimate relationship with him. It can also be solved by realizing why we miss a person, that the person is, in someway, always with us, and by realizing that all separations are effectively temporary in one way or another. Emptiness is a result of the human condition...but it does not have to be blatantly accepted--we have the power to diminish it.