Random Rantings

I have a lot on my mind today.  I'm tired so I'm unfocused and I'm very contemplative.  I'm slightly crabby, pessimistic, and have no motivation to do my job today.

I need to figure out if youth ministry is really something I'm called to do.  I'm great at the relationship part... the youth love me.  I really suck at everything else--which is weird because I did stuff like this all through college.  I just never seem to do things right.  Perhaps what it is, is that, when confronted with the real word, I am forced to realize that I can't make everyone happy, and there will be people who just plain don't like me.  There are always going to be people who disagree with the way I do things, who doubt my ability, who would rather take control themselves, and who just don't like my personality.  There will always be people who are overcritical, oversensitive, overemotional, overly stupid, apathetic, and sinful.  There will always be humans.  I will always be human.  Perhaps I am cut out for this, and just need to have confidence in myself.  I dislike it here though, and I'm not happy, which probably means its time to move on.

Another thing that bugs me is the lack of commitment amongst families.  It's nearly impossible to plan an event because no one will commit to coming--so you don't know how much pizza and pop to get, can't tell what sort of games you'll need to play, how many chaperones you'll need, etc.   People don't respect deadlines and when asked if they'll they reply with a "maybe".  The fact is that they want to wait and see if something better, something more fun will come along.  Our society is so used to having instant gratification, so set in their ways, that the word commitment has come to mean "I'll do it if I feel like it when the time comes", and unfortunately, in my experience, they don't feel like Church.

Really I think, and I could just be pointing fingers, but I think the parents are mainly to blame.  The family is the foundational unit of the Church, and parents are supposed to be the primary educators of their children.  Ideally, families should be living strong, Christ centered lives.  But in reality that's not the case.  To most families school, sports, and status are the most important things.  Sports aren't bad, but when they make you so busy or shortsighted that you don't have time for God, then the parents aren't doing their job.  But that's the world we live in.

OK, enough ranting for now.

Prom Dress Massacre: A Lesson in Holiness or Conservative Catastrophe?

Today I want to talk about this video. I have mixed feelings about this situation and so I'll outline both the positive and negative aspects, and maybe even come to a conclusion.

First, the Positive:

Modesty: I firmly applaud this Alabama community for deciding to uphold a minimum standard of modesty. Obviously this girl (who doesn't strike me as being the brightest bulb on the block) needs a lesson in modesty, and perhaps this was the situation to do it. When various parts of your body are threatening to "bust out of their cell" so to speak, and you don't think you have "cleavage" there's something not quite right... Although, with a mother like that, who could blame the girl for being ignorant?

Sufficient Warning: The school sent out three warnings to students and parents concerning proper dress code... you would hope that after three warnings that even the dullest, most ignorant, or even the most absent minded of parents and students would be able to comply. Even so, 5% of the students showed up in violation. Silly kids...

Now the negative:

The Punishment: I'm not convinced that the punishment fit the crime. First of all, three days suspension for violating the dress code at the senior prom... seems a bit severe. Why not just send them home and not let them come to the prom? That seems like a sufficient enough punishment in that it takes away something they are really excited about which pertains directly to the offense, rather than suspending them from school (which they probably dislike anyway). Even worse is the paddling. I actually agree with the girl on this one... they are too old to be paddled and, when not done by a parent, in a loving and consistent fashion, spanking can, but will not always be successful. I typically don't agree with spanking, as its detrimental effects (such as promoting violence and causing psychological dysfunction in the child) is not worth it, it shows the inneffective "authoritarian style parenting", and it is often done in anger. Spanking with anything other than hand is, in most of today's society, not appropriate. There are more effective means of behavioral reinforcement, and just because you uphold traditional values, doesn't mean you have to reinforce them in traditional ways.


Those are most of the positive and negatives that I could think of. I'm not so sure i agree with the guy's position of "patience vs tolerance", but that's for another post and I have never bee one for "Zero Tolerance" in the first place. All in all, a very interesting and potentially controversial issue of which I can see both sides.

Goals and Mission in Evangelism

Those who know me or read this blog regularly enough know that I value succinctness, thesis statements, and purpose and meaning. These constitute my paradigm for the world--It is my elucidation. I believe that principles close to these, mission, vision, and goals, are necessary parts of an organized catechesis and evangelization. For it is these very things that get my fired up and passionate for souls of youth.

In the book I'm reading Ron Luce strongly stresses the importance of focusing everything around a mission, vision, and goals. I completely agree with this, which is why one of the first things I did when I got here was to come with a mission statement:

We aim to provide a safe place for youth to come together in fellowship, to empower youth to live authentic lives of the Gospel, and to challenge them to become Saints according to their call to Holiness through the Sacraments of Initiation.

It's a little long for a mission statement, so perhaps it could be shortened to "Empowering youth to live like Christ". I haven't done a great job of focusing everything on this--I'll admit, I do some pointless programs, but it is a vision that fuels my desire to see a better future for our youth.

It bothers me when people stagnate because they are afraid of the hard work it takes to change. Why would I waste my time going to meetings where nothing is accomplished? Why do we allow ourselves to settle for mediocrity--no successful business would take such an attitude! We are in the most important business of all--the business of souls! And our competitor is the the most schrewd and unscrupulous CEO in the entire world... and by failing to have a battle plan to win the hearts of our "customers" we are LOSING! Get off your butts and fight for the change that you profess to believe in.

OK... maybe that was a little harsh. But we cannot be afraid to sacrifice for the good of the Church. We must have movement, change, and a our hearts set towards heaven. We must know where we're headed if we want to know how to get there.

On Religious Culture

I'm contemplating today about culture--specifically the difference in culture between Protestants and Catholics.

Side note: wouldn't you think that the term "protestant" would be a derogatory term... seeing as the whole basis of the name is that they "protested" which I guess I isn't an inherently bad thing... but still?

Anyway, I'm reading this book called "The Complete Guide to High Impact Youth Ministry" By Ron Luce, the guy who founded Teen Mania Ministries (most well known for their "Acquire the Fire" event). Anyway, this guy has a ton of huge ideas and encourages people to dream big, yada yada yada. He says there is really no excuse for a youth group to encompass an entire town or region, having up to 1,000 kids. Basically his goals and assertion that we should all have the same goals, makes me feel like crap.

I mean really... is this guy part of reality? He seems to think it's easy to get teens to Church. I wish I knew the kids he did... or maybe I just am not good at recruiting people. If that's the case, then, according to him, I'm not doing my job well.

And then I think, "well maybe he just doesn't know Catholic Culture". For all I know, protestant youth groups are busting at the seams just like he says... but I know very few Catholic Youth Groups with over 100 kids regularly participating.

Part of the problem is, I'm not sure how to define Catholic/Protestant Culture. I have some Ideas of course: Protestant culture seems almost more charismatic, more of a focus on the Holy Spirit, and in some way more "grassroots". I have more problems defining my own Catholic culture... but maybe that's usually the case with a culture that one is engrained in.

Either way, if you can enlighten me as to the nature of either culture, the reality of such a large following, or how to better get youth involved, please feel free to post. This may be a topic I will visit more once I have though more about it.

On the Busyness of a Generation

One thing I've noticed in my ministry and time with teens is how busy they are. One girl I know is in Show Choir, Speech, and the "One Act" this semester. All of her weekends are booked solid, she has practice for one thing or another every day after school until at least 5, does homework for her 3 AP courses until dinner, eats, and goes to bed.

When does a teen like this have time to practice their faith... almost as important, when does a teen like this have time to be teen, to foster good relationships, and take time for themselves?

But this is not just an isolated case--most of my youth suffer from the "overdrive syndrome". They do marching band, track, speech, basketball, play, show choir, dance, hockey... all of which take up at least three days a week after school, as well as most weekends.

Granted, I am a little biased; I would rather have them spend all their time at Church. But even so, I would not want them spending ALL they're time here... a kid needs time to be a kid.

What are the side effects of this? Well, people have trouble prioritizing and committing. Deadlines to my youth and parents seem to be relative. They never want to commit to anything unless they know what else will be going on at the time. They are always waiting for something better to come along. Also, because parents tend to put more of a focus on Athletic and Artistic achievement rather than spiritual achievement, our kids are not getting spiritually fed.

So who's to blame? Well, everyone. The parents are to blame for letting they're kids do so much (they should limit activities) and for instilling an extreme "need to succeed" attitude. The kids are at fault for not being able to prioritize, commit, and realize what they need in life. The Church is to blame to for not making Faith marketable to youth.

How do we fix this? We need to let our children know that they're worth is not based on how much they do, but on who they are in God. They need to know that silence, simplicity, and spirituality are the keys to a healthy and happy life. Finally, they need to be forced to make decisions and to ask themselves "what is most important in my life, and why?"

So concludes my rant for the day.