Random Rantings

I have a lot on my mind today.  I'm tired so I'm unfocused and I'm very contemplative.  I'm slightly crabby, pessimistic, and have no motivation to do my job today.

I need to figure out if youth ministry is really something I'm called to do.  I'm great at the relationship part... the youth love me.  I really suck at everything else--which is weird because I did stuff like this all through college.  I just never seem to do things right.  Perhaps what it is, is that, when confronted with the real word, I am forced to realize that I can't make everyone happy, and there will be people who just plain don't like me.  There are always going to be people who disagree with the way I do things, who doubt my ability, who would rather take control themselves, and who just don't like my personality.  There will always be people who are overcritical, oversensitive, overemotional, overly stupid, apathetic, and sinful.  There will always be humans.  I will always be human.  Perhaps I am cut out for this, and just need to have confidence in myself.  I dislike it here though, and I'm not happy, which probably means its time to move on.

Another thing that bugs me is the lack of commitment amongst families.  It's nearly impossible to plan an event because no one will commit to coming--so you don't know how much pizza and pop to get, can't tell what sort of games you'll need to play, how many chaperones you'll need, etc.   People don't respect deadlines and when asked if they'll they reply with a "maybe".  The fact is that they want to wait and see if something better, something more fun will come along.  Our society is so used to having instant gratification, so set in their ways, that the word commitment has come to mean "I'll do it if I feel like it when the time comes", and unfortunately, in my experience, they don't feel like Church.

Really I think, and I could just be pointing fingers, but I think the parents are mainly to blame.  The family is the foundational unit of the Church, and parents are supposed to be the primary educators of their children.  Ideally, families should be living strong, Christ centered lives.  But in reality that's not the case.  To most families school, sports, and status are the most important things.  Sports aren't bad, but when they make you so busy or shortsighted that you don't have time for God, then the parents aren't doing their job.  But that's the world we live in.

OK, enough ranting for now.

No One's Home

I'm having trouble focusing on hardly anything today. My mind is in another place. I think I'm probably going through a burnt out stage. I'll get through it in a couple of days most likely. I feel apathetic about most things. It's beautiful out, nearly 50 degrees. I will go for a walk tonight.