Comments on the Aurora Shooting

Violence saddens me... especially senseless violence like the shooting and killing of some 12 innocent people in a movie theater in Colorado... and the injuring of dozens more.  Why would it even cross someone's mind to ever do something such as this?

Human beings... in our free-will, our gifts of intellect, and the gift of our passions, are capable of great sacrifices of Love and virtue.  It is apparent, however, that we are also capable of grotesque and abhorrent acts such as the one in Colorado this morning.

The motive of this "alleged" shooter, a 24 year old man, is unknown.  New information says he also planted bombs in the apartment which he lived, and that he just waited there for Police to come and arrest him.  He did not take his own life, which so many of the shooters like him tend to do.  It seems he was not afraid of what would happen to him.  This makes me believe that this was well planned on his part, not an act of passion, and that through it, he wishes to make some statement.  He will surely get enough stage time to say what he wants.

But really... why does anyone do something like this?  While this action can never be excused, and we can never initially know the fullness of motives for why violence happens, especially in this case, there is a history of shootings among those who are bullied.  We live in a SINFUL world, my friends, and we MUST, we are OBLIGATED, do to everything we can individually and as a community to make sure things like these never happen.  At the end of time, when we stand before God and he shows us the effects of our actions throughout our whole lives... how many of us will be happy with what they see?  I urge you, do not let this act, or Columbine, or Cold Springs, or Virginia Tech, go in vain!  Keep them in your mind, pray about them, and let them motivate you to live every moment of every day in love for your neighbor... especially those who feel as though no one loves them.  Love can change hearts.  Love can convert sinners.  Love can prevent acts such as this shooting.

Finally, brothers and sisters, I wish to impress on you the importance this shows us of being ready for our death!  Those people in the movie theater, I say with confident certainty that none of them went to the movie expecting to be killed.  How many of them now, wish that they had lived lives closer to God, that they had gone to Church or confession just one more time, or that they had made amends with broken relationships they just never got around to?  Life is precious! But even more important is what happens to us after life... let's not take either for granted--let's live life to the fullest, loving, maintaining healthy relationships, and doing what God wants us to do, and lets do it with our eyes set to heaven, taking care to avoid any sin, and asking for forgiveness as soon as we can for those sins we do commit.

We pray, O Lord, for all those affected by the shooting in Aurora, CO this morning.  For those who were taken, eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let your perpetual light shine on them.  For those who loved them, or who will be forever changed by the experience, we ask you to send down your Holy Spirit to console them.  We pray that, in the devastation and suffering that they are feeling, they cling closer to you and that they're hearts not be hardened or despair.  Finally, we pray for the man who committed this atrocity, may he feel true sorrow and repent of his sin, and may everyone who hates him, who wishes damnation on him, experience a softening of heart and pray for his conversion.  Amen.

Adoration Meditation: Loving Your Enemy

The Background

Yesterday the fiance and I went to Adoration for some much needed prayer time.  On the way there we had a discussion which left me with a topic to pray about (even though I didn't necessarily want to).

I'm working in a parish again, and it has its stressful moments.  The actions and words of various people, inside the parish and out (abortion and HHS debates, rude drivers, control freaks, and just generally uncharitable people), have made me question why some people can even call themselves Catholics (for they in no way act like it), and unfortunately I have started to lose faith in humanity, the Church, and its people.

Worst of all, I have found a growth of hate in my heart, and it was this very thing I wanted to take to prayer before the Blessed Eucharist.  It's hard to feel hate in front of the embodiment of love.

On our way there we were nearly hit (and likely seriously injured) by a driver who was at the very least distracted, but most likely made a stupid or selfish decision to turn left (I realized later that I really should give him the benefit of the doubt).  I made a comment that I should have hit him as a matter of justice, to which my fiance began to lecture me about God's mercy.  So, considering I have, as of late, lost sight of God's mercy, that is how I decided to approach the topic in prayer.

The Meditation


I opened the book of Psalms (one of my favorite books, especially in times of trouble) and started reading from the beginning.  After about 7 of them, I realized something--the Old Testament is filled with examples of people calling to God for Justice.  In the Old Testament, this was natural and perfectly acceptable, as God was the deliverer of his people, and Israel trusted him to judge their oppressors.  Furthermore, it was this belief in justice after life, that the wicked would parish and the good would be united with him, that gives Christians the consolation they need to not kill or seriously maim those incredibly stupid people (I exaggerate...but only a bit).

I realized however, that Jesus calls to more than that--though asking God to rain down judgement on those who have hurt us (my fiance' pointed out the story of James and John) may be acceptable and sometimes just, it not what the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross calls us to.  We are called, in fact, to wish that that person is actually received into heaven.

This is hard, because in doing that, we are left with no consolation of Justice, except for our own reception and union with him.  I relate it to the Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard in which everyone, even those who worked less, gets paid the same amount.  This parable, and this act of giving up our own consolation of judgment is SO hard for humans because it is contrary to our nature as human beings.  Mercy is divine, and thus it can only be given through the help of Christ.

We should all only be concerned with how WE will be judged, and furthermore, be seeking to help others "get paid" by receiving the beatific vision.  This is impossible to do ourselves, and thus the only way to truly love, is to let Christ love through you.

Faith Vs. Reason

Faith and Reason go hand in hand--as responsible Christians, and especially Catholics, we've been told that since Thomas Aquinas, and have recently affirmed it through the Encyclical Fides et Ratio.  However, there comes a point in time when, one side becoming unbalanced or unduly focused upon, Faith and Reason can battle each other for domination and actually HINDER the growth of the Christian.

Pope John Paul II states "Faith asks that its object be understood with the help of reason; and at the summit of its searching reason acknowledges that it cannot do without what faith presents" (Fides et Ratio, 42).  Therefore, Faith without reason is "superstition", whereas Reason without faith is nihilistic and relativism (seems to be the backbone of today's society, huh?).


So which is more important, faith or reason?  As a responsible Catholic, I must say that they are both equally important--just as Scripture and Tradition are equal.  We all have a duty to be able to "give reason" as to the hope in our hearts and why we believe what we do.  Likewise, there are mysteries of the Faith that reason cannot supply an answer to, and in those we are called to have faith.


I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, in this modern day society, considering the way most Americans think, Faith is the harder virtue.  And, while I won't say its "more important", I will say that its the "safeguard" or reason, and in a sense "higher" in that it is a Theological Virtue endowed by God.


There must be an academic element to all faith, and it is good to study theology, and at the very least the basic doctrines of the faith.  We must UNDERSTAND God to KNOW and LOVE God.


HOWEVER, reason, study, and academia cannot and must not be our primary source of identification with God.  We MUST have a relationship with him, and can do that only through a faith-filled WILLING of love through him.  We must pray about what we learn and ask God to speak to us himself, not only through books.


Please, brothers and sisters.  Have faith, pray, and discern what God wants for you.  We are made to know, love, and serve God, and so let us try to do all those three equally.  


Ratio ET Fides

Reflections on Charitability

I was thinking and praying today during mass about what to do concerning a specific situation.  I thought it very important to discern correctly what to do as it concerned the well-being of another person.  I began to feel overwhelmed because how can I, as a human being with limited intelligence and obscured by sin, be sure that I am right, especially when the other person is sure that the opposite is right?

That’s part of the problem—in today’s world, everyone thinks they’re right, but there are some situations where only one person can be in accord with reality.  I see this especially in the Catholic world in the liberal vs. conservative debate.  Conservatives think liberals are heretics, removed from the essence of the Church, and just weird.  Liberals think the conservatives are uncharitable, lacking the spirit, and close-minded.  Both are wrong.  Is there only one right answer in liturgy?  Of course not, liturgy is the praise of the people, and praise takes different forms.  I agree, there is a definite area in which the liturgy must occur to be appropriate, but because something varies from the “norm” does not mean it is illicit, invalid, or heresy.  If everything were in the norm then there would be no variety.  It is the openness to variety while remaining true to the spirit of Christ and the Church that makes the Catholic Church a universal and global church.  I’ll admit, it’s a hard line to walk but it’s possible.

The human condition makes us judge and think we’re right without really first considering the alternative.  We want to feel “in” and seek the approval of our peers, so we naturally point out the flaws of the “other” instead of inherently seeing the holy, the Christ, in all things.  No matter how far a Church or a Christian is from God, there is still goodness, there is still dignity, and there is still some form of divine work there.  This is especially so with parishes and people who are seeking to do God’s will.  Sure they may err, we all do, but doesn’t the very desire to seek holiness make you, in some sense, holy?  We are too obsessed with condemning and judging the other that we fail to see the good in things that we don’t already agree with.

All this has led me to question whether or not I can ever really know if I’m right.  I know that I can, God speaks to me, reveals things to me, and I do possess natural reason that seeks Truth in accordance with the natural order of things.  There are times I am right in my actions and my beliefs.  Of course, there are many, many, times in which I discern, act, reason, or believe incorrectly.  This is what causes the doubt.  How can I be sure that what I pray and decide is actually according to the Will and revelation of God.  I guess what I end up falling back on is 1) God’s ability to correct me and show me I’m on the wrong path, 2) God’s mercy, and 3) the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

All this pondering and prayer led me to think about the gifts that God has given me.  What are they? I’m not an incredibly good-looking person.  I’m not strong, or exceptionally eloquent.  I’m intelligent but not exceptionally or in a way that other people can’t fulfill that need.  I’m musical, but not prodigious.  So what has God given me?  Basically, He has given me, as he has every human person, a unique capacity to love in a specific way and Charism.

Knowing this, it is now my job to discern HOW best to love.  In a general way, I must obviously love as God does. How is this? 1) Meeting people where they are at: God will never turn his back on us because we do not do what he says.  His love is unconditional, human love should strive to be that as well. 2) True love must respect free will:  I must point out errors, pray, and continue love, but I must never condemn or withdraw my love because someone fails to align their will with the truth. 

That’s really all I’ve come up with—in reality I haven’t answered any questions about liturgy or what is right and wrong.  The only conclusion that I have come to is that I must be charitable in all things, for that will win more hearts for the Lord than legalistic rules.  It’s a fine line to tread, and I will often err on both sides.  Pray for me Brethren, and I shall pray for you.

Job Hunting Sucks

I resigned from my job as Youth Minister at Holy Redeemer Parish in Marshall. It was a slightly impulsive decision, but I don't regret it, and I am the happiest I have been in months. 

I have big dreams: I want to do some freelance speaking and music gigs at parishes around the state.  I want write blogs and hopefully gain some passive and supplemental income from it.  I have numerous books in process, and would like to actually complete one.  Finally, someday, I think it would be awesome to open a retreat center for Christian couples.

Until then, I need a job.  I am down to $170 in my checking account X_X !  I just need anything... Caribou coffee, a waiter, heck, even a janitor position... I just need money.

So, if you could keep me in your thoughts and prayers I would greatly appreciate.  If you have any  leads for jobs that would be even more awesome.

Loving Your Angel

Guardian Angels: The teaching on Guardian Angels is a beautiful teaching that exemplifies God's love for us--He loves us so much that he gives us our very own spiritual being to protect and guide us! When I was traveling my diocese for a Catechesis program, I would often find myself with a couple extra minutes at the end of a class time, or transitioning between activities. I would proceed to tell them about Guardian Angels, and inevitably their eyes would light up. Some things they always liked to know about Guardian Angels:

• Everybody has one
• They can protect you from danger
• They act as your conscience
• You can pray to them and learn their name!

It is this last point that seemed to be the most amazing to them, and when they would ask how, I would teach them this prayer:

Angel of God, My Guardian Dear

To whom God's love commits me here

Ever this day be at my side

To light and guard, rule, and guide.

I told them that if you say this prayer to your Angel every morning, that they may reveal their name to you. They always asked if I knew my Guardian Angel's name, and I would always respond, "Samuel". This was how I first developed my devotion to my Guardian Angel, and sometimes if the kids were older, I would tell them this story:

How I learned my Guardian Angels Name: It was a seemingly normal night on the road, and my second night at the host family I was staying with that week. My team member had let me take the bedroom with the bed, and he offered to take the couch, because he liked falling asleep watching the TV if he could. That night I couldn't sleep, and I found myself with a desire to pray the St. Micheal Prayer. I said it, and then continued to say a rosary. It didn't help with sleeping, and God seemed to be testing me that night with patience. As the night wore on I received various hot and cold flashes, as well as a feeling that I should pray for Faith. When I did sleep, I had dreams of people I never met before, and giving them roses as a symbol of God's forgiveness for them. One time after one of these dreams I woke up to get a glass of water, only to find my teammate had left all the lights on, along with EWTN. I shut off all the electronics, got my drink, and went to bed. Later, I got up again to go to the bathroom (something that is very rare for me to do) and I saw that again the lights were on, and the tv had been turned on, but that channel changed. I continued to pray. Sometime during the early morning hours I got the urge to pray to my Guardian Angel, which is something I had never really done before. I prayed asking for guidance, sleep and protection, and as I did, the name Samuel came into my head. I asked my Angel if that was his name, and I got an overwhelming feeling of love and peace in my heart. That is how I became pretty sure my Angel's name was Samuel. I slept in fits for the rest of the night, but I was comforted by my new found friend.

Regardless of whether or not I told my personal story, the children I taught where always filled with an immediate sense of awe and love, and many would proceed that very to pray to their angel at Mass or even during recess. This is a beautiful gift we have been given, and it is a means by which we can evangelize to the younger generation. It takes only love of a single truth to delve deeper and discover the richness of the Church. I believe that this teaching may be especially comforting to youth and children who feel as if they don't have any other friends--their Angel was created to be their special best friend. Let us spread this joy and help others to realize that they all have guiding light sent by God to hold their hands on their journey to Christ. They are not alone!

Exposition on the Litany of Humility

The Litany of Humility, composed by Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930), is one of my most favorite prayers, and one which I try to pray everyday (although fail miserably at). Nevertheless, to achieve what this prayer asks for is one of the deepest desires of my heart. The prayer begins:

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, Hear me! Here we are praying to the one who embodies the virtues that we desire most by praying this prayer--not only humility but meekness (a beautiful but often overlooked virtue). Meekness is the combination of the virtues patience (bearing burdens joyfully) and gentility (right mediation of anger) and is equivalent to mercy. By praying this litany we are not only asking for humility, but also the patience to bear, and the gentility to deal with those who/that which make us humble.

The next three sections deal with the three aspects of humility--overcoming the desire to be loved, overcoming the fear of being rejected, and desiring the good of others in all things.

From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me Jesus!

Lord, help me not to seek fame or esteem, but to accept it when it comes, and let it glorify you.

From the desire of being loved...

Lord, help me not to seek love in unhealthy or unneeded ways. Help me be complete satisfied with your love. Help me to love purely in all things.

From the desire of being extolled...
From the desire of being honored...
From the desire of being praised...

Lord, help me do all things for the love of you alone. Help me to give all praise and honor to you and keep nothing for myself. Help me to lead hearts to you, and not to myself.

From the desire of preferred...
From the desire of being consulted...
From the desire of being approved...

Lord, help me to use my gifts for only those things you deem holy. Help me not to seek approval or to flaunt gifts you have given me. Help me to accept it when my friends go to other people for advice.

From the fear of being humiliated…

Lord, banish all fear from my heart. Help me to not be afraid of anything you have planned for me. Help me not to fear my cross or the purifying fires of your love. Help me live with reckless abandon, running towards the unknown things you have planned for me.

From the fear of being despised...

Lord, help me to care only about what you think. Let me not fear the the despisement of others, which is often based on fear and misunderstanding itself.

From the fear of being rebuked...

Lord, help me accept humbly the consequences for what I have done wrong. Help me Lord to even accept responsibility for that which I did not do wrong, in order to atone for that which I have gotten away with.

From the fear of being calumniated...
From the fear of being forgotten...
From the fear of being ridiculed...
From the fear of being wronged...
From the fear of being suspected...

Lord help me to live only with joy, without fear in my heart. Help to accept all things that lead me closer to your heart.

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be esteemed more than I...
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease...
That others may be chosen and I set aside...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided I become as holy as I should...

Lord, help me desire that which is most difficult for me, the good of others over myself. Grant me the ability to accept the greatness of others. Lord, let me be satisfied for the life you have for me.